Being uncomfortable is part of life and part of leadership. But not all discomfort is the same.

You are a person who follows through, who doesn't give up, who rises to the challenge. You think of yourself this way and you have the track record to prove it.

But the approach that has served you in the past isn’t working now. This isn’t a moment to “power through," it's a moment to lead differently.

You take a lot of pride in being able to "figure it out" and "get shit done" but it has become self-fulfilling. People keep asking you to take on more, and one day you looked around and thought, how did I get here with so much on my plate?

If you lie awake asking yourself "Am I doing this right? Am I making enough of a difference? How can I possibly keep this up?" my upcoming book is for you.

Do Your Part: Bold, Sustainable Leadership for Social Impact Leaders in a Time of Polycrisis publishes June 15th.

Do you ever feel like you don't deserve to be where you are? Do you look around the room and think, I don't belong here?

It's easy to feel like you're not good enough or that you're in over your head, especially for those of us who haven’t had straightforward or traditional careers or leadership journeys.

When everyone is all in and no one is sure who's in charge, things get messy fast. The org chart doesn't always reflect who actually has the power, the skills, or the decision-making authority. And that gap, if you don't name it, becomes a tinder box.

Running for office means walking up to strangers every single day and essentially asking, "Do you like me?" And then at the end, they literally vote on it.

That kind of exposure brings everything to the surface, and if you're an empath or a people pleaser, you absorb all of it.

This dynamic isn't unique to candidates. Across leadership, people are watching, judging, and talking about you. The exposure is real, and it takes a real toll.

We put leaders on a pedestal and then wonder why they burn out.

We expect perfection, and feel personally let down when they make a mistake or even just disagree. We dehumanize them even as we lift them up as saviors.

This isn't just bad for the leader, it weakens our organizations and our movements. And then we wonder why fewer people want to step into leadership roles.

My clients are powerful, competent, and doing important work to build a just world.

From the outside it looks like they have it together but inside they're often struggling. They lie awake at night wondering, "Am I doing this right?" "Am I making enough of a difference?" and "How can I possibly keep this up?"

"I'm surrounded by people but I still feel alone."

The loneliness of leadership isn't about being alone. It's about feeling like no matter how many people are with you, the outcome rests on your shoulders.

The higher the stakes, the louder that voice in your head that tells you you aren't doing it right and you're going to let everyone down. That internal pressure is sapping your resources and distracting you from what actually needs to get done. More on working with your skills and strengths, rather than against yourself, in today's newsletter.

Perfectionism and excellence look similar from the outside, but they come from different places. Over preparing and trying to control every outcome isn't a high standard, it's fear.

When you're in so much overwhelm just trying to get through today, a steady, sustainable reality is almost impossible to imagine, let alone plan for.

Missing a deadline doesn't just feel like a professional failure, it feels like you're failing the people you serve.

When your job IS your values in action, both failure and success feel personal. This is called identity fusion, and it's why nonprofit burnout hits differently.

The intense relationships we form in mission-driven work can be both our greatest strength and our biggest challenge. 

At their best, these bonds feel electric. But that same intensity can blur boundaries and normalize unsustainable patterns like working endless hours to avoid "letting down" colleagues or endlessly strategizing in ways that don’t advance the mission.

We don't need to choose between deep connections and sustainability. The most impactful work comes from joy and possibility, not fear of losing belonging.

Moral injury is the pain we experience when we witness or engage in behaviors that violate our own values. 

It's what happens when we know the right thing to do, but circumstances mean that we can’t do it.

When we view burnout through the lens of moral injury we can see that our exhaustion isn't a personal failing, it's a natural response to impossible situations.

Our bodies frequently signal distress before our minds are ready to acknowledge it. These physical manifestations are data points telling us something needs to change.

Caring for ourselves is an act of self worth, and a way of modeling for others that they are worthy as well.

Our wellbeing and the wellbeing of those we serve are not are not at odds, they are intertwined.

At many points in my career “getting it right” didn’t feel like an option, it felt like a requirement.

Many of us have internalized the belief that we have to be perfect.

Perfectionism is fundamentally about control and self-protection and it often comes from a place of deep care and sense of responsibility.

But what if this very mindset is actually holding us back?

When your mission is to change the world, how do you measure success? And how do you sustain yourself when it feels like we're swimming upstream against impossible odds?

If your tasks connect to your big goals and you're doing them consistently, then you know you're moving forward in ways that matter.

And then you can log off, eat lunch, take a walk, and live your life knowing that you've done what you set out to do.

As leaders we can find it very hard to put down work, step away, leave things to our team, and take a break. You may feel like if you step away or take your eye off the ball things will fall apart.

This commitment to always being present, on the ball, and available usually comes from a place of very good intention. But “always on” leadership has real downsides for you, your team, and your organization.

Always being present and available may be more about you and what you need than about what the organization or your team actually needs.