When Everything Feels Too Important to Delegate

Nonprofit leaders are constantly juggling demands that feel both urgent and mission-critical. Your inbox fills faster than you can respond, stakeholders need attention, the day to day of managing an organization is relentless, and the work requires your expertise and passion.

Sound familiar?

While delegation is essential for sustainable leadership, many of us struggle to effectively share the load. In this article I’ll share some common barriers to delegating, and practical solutions to address them.

Perfectionism: "Only I Can Do It Right"

When the work is deeply meaningful, perfectionism often masquerades as commitment. You struggle to trust others because the stakes feel too high.“What if something falls through the cracks?” What if they don’t do it as well as I would?”

Furthermore, sometimes reluctance to delegate stems from past experiences. If you've been burned before, you might have internalized the message that "nothing gets done unless I do it myself.

This mindset trap keeps you trapped in execution mode, preventing you from leading strategically because a part of you truly believes you're the only one who can "do it right."

Control Issues: The "What If" Spiral

The uncertainty that comes with releasing control can trigger anxiety. "What if they miss the deadline? What if they don't communicate with stakeholders properly? What if they make decisions I wouldn't make?"

These fears keep you micromanaging rather than empowering your team to truly own their work.

Identity Entanglement: When Work Equals Worth

For many mission-driven leaders, your work has become deeply intertwined with your identity and self-worth. Delegating can feel threatening when your value is tied to being indispensable.

Getting Real About Your Capacity

High achievers have often succeeded by "figuring it out" and "learning on the go." We expect ourselves to overcome any skill gap through sheer determination. But this approach is neither efficient nor sustainable.

Early in my leadership journey, I was drowning trying to do everything myself. A mentor asked me something I'll never forget: "If your car broke down, would you try to fix it yourself? If not, why are you trying to be your organization's accountant, marketer, and IT department?"

Look honestly at where you're working across significant skill gaps and identify team members or external resources who could handle those tasks more effectively. A mechanic will fix your car faster and better than you can, and the same principle applies to specialized work in your organization.

The False Economy of "It's Faster to Do It Myself"

"There's no time to delegate! By the time I explain it, I could have done it myself."

This common refrain keeps you trapped in an urgency culture where you're constantly plugging holes in unsustainable systems. While it might be faster in the moment, this approach guarantees you'll be stuck in the same cycles indefinitely.

Honest Assessment: When Delegation Isn't Working

It's important to acknowledge when something isn't working, without judgement. Perfectionists often fear failure so much that they rush in to catch any dropped balls, but those drops provide valuable data about your systems, clarity of expectations, or team capacity.

Nonprofit leaders often have big hearts. It's why you chose this work in the first place. You deeply want your team members to succeed, and your emotional investment in their growth can sometimes work against effective delegation. When you see a team member struggling with a task, your instinct is to swoop in and rescue them. While this comes from a place of genuine care and support, it inadvertently sends a powerful message: "I don't think you can handle this." Over time, this undermines confidence and creates dependency rather than growth.

This compassionate rescuing can also mask organizational realities that need addressing. When you're constantly filling gaps, you might not recognize patterns that signal a need for additional training, clearer processes, or even role adjustments. Your big heart is one of your greatest assets as a leader but ensuring your team's long-term success sometimes means allowing them to struggle through challenges rather than immediately solving their problems for them.

If you're delegating clearly, providing appropriate resources, and truly empowering others, yet tasks consistently don't get completed, it might be time to evaluate whether you have the right team structure for your needs. When people aren't in the right roles, it feels bad for everyone involved.

Practical Steps to Delegate More Effectively

Question Your Resistance

When you feel that familiar reluctance to let go of a task, pause and ask yourself: "How true is it that I must do this task myself? What am I afraid might happen if I delegate this?" Even just building in that moment of reflection creates the opportunity to choose differently.

Ruthlessly Prioritize

Tasks and commitments have a way of accumulating on your plate. Get laser-focused on your key goals and evaluate each task in relation to them. If it's not directly advancing your priorities, let go of it, put it on the back burner, or delegate it. There are many frameworks that can help with this process. I like to use AIM SMART to clearly identify, describe, and prioritize goals.

Keep an Energy Diary

For one week, track what you do each day and note which activities energize you versus drain you on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the week, identify your most energy-depleting tasks and consider who else might be able to handle them. Remember, what's draining for you will be energizing for someone else with different strengths.

Approach Delegation Like a Scientist

Run delegation "experiments" by fully releasing control over certain tasks to appropriate team members. It may feel uncomfortable, but focus on managing your own discomfort rather than micromanaging the process. Then objectively evaluate the data: What went well? What didn't? Make adjustments and try again.

After several rounds of these experiments, you'll either have enough data to determine if you need to make structural changes to your team or systems or you’ll have some positive data to show that you can release control and trust others to get the job done.

Final Thoughts

If delegation is a challenge for you and/or your organization it is likely that several of the barriers I’ve outlined above are happening at the same time. By bringing your awareness to these challenges you can begin to understand what the sticking points are, and design appropriate interventions to address them.

Effective delegation isn't just about clearing your plate, it's about developing your team, focusing your energy where it creates the most value, and building sustainable systems that don't depend entirely on you.

What's one task you've been reluctant to delegate that you might experiment with releasing this week?

Building a Supportive Community

We’ve all likely heard the African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” This proverb beautifully encapsulates the power of collaboration and community and how crucial it is to come together to achieve big goals.

I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment. But what’s often missing in conversations about building networks, support systems, or communities is a focus on what qualities actually make a community supportive and sustainable over the long term.

It’s a natural human instinct to surround ourselves with people who share similar beliefs, values, or approaches. There’s comfort in being united by a common cause, especially in moments of shared outrage or challenge. That feeling of camaraderie when we’re "in the trenches" together can be exhilarating. It connects us. However, in my experience, that type of connection alone isn’t always sustainable, and it can even reinforce unhealthy patterns.

Just like ecosystems in nature, a healthy community thrives on diversity of backgrounds, perspectives, experiences, and roles. To build a truly supportive network, we need people who can both lift us up and hold us accountable in different ways.

Here are some important questions to consider when thinking about the people you turn to for support:

1. Do they really see you?

Do the people in your community see all of who you are? Not just your successes, but also your struggles? Do they encourage you to set healthy boundaries, or do they expect you to give everything for the cause? A supportive community should respect that you are a whole person and that you shouldn’t have to carry the weight alone.

2. Are you in an echo chamber?

Do the people around you share the same ideas and beliefs about how to reach your goals? Are you all trapped in the same cycles of self-doubt or burnout? It’s easy for groups to normalize unhealthy behaviors, especially when everyone is collectively struggling. Be mindful of whether your community is inadvertently reinforcing unrealistic expectations or toxic patterns.

3. Are your relationships constructive or destructive?

Gossip may quickly forge bonds, but it’s a shallow foundation. Communities built on criticizing others to elevate “our group” can easily turn toxic. Trust is essential in any community, and once gossip starts, it can erode trust and safety, making vulnerability difficult.

4. Does your community love you hard when you need it?

Sometimes, others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. I remember a time during my city council campaign when a close friend essentially forced me to take a break. She saw that I was running on empty when I couldn’t recognize it myself. In that moment, I trusted her judgment over my own and it was what I needed. We all need people in our lives who will forcefully step in to protect and care for us in the moments when we really need it.

5. Does your community hold you accountable with care and compassion?

Accountability is important, but it’s only effective when it’s delivered with compassion. Will your community gently call you in when you make a misstep? Will they stay with you through the challenges of growth and leadership, while helping you stay true to your values? Can you make mistakes and learn from them without fear of judgment?

6. Are you giving back?

As you reflect on how your community supports you, ask yourself: Are you providing the same support to others? A thriving, care-filled community is a two-way street.

Being intentional about who we surround ourselves with, and who we support, is an important form of self-care. How we get to our goals is as important as whether we achieve them. When we build rich, supportive communities, we create a collective powerhouse that strengthens everyone.

Reclaiming Creative Leadership

There is a deep connection between creativity and joy. Being creative increases happiness and reduces stress, and also that when we are happy we are able to be more creative and expansive in our thinking.

This is true in all areas of life, and also in leadership.

Think back to times in your career when you bounced out of bed excited to get to work. I imagine that it was because you were building, dreaming, and designing something that you felt really excited about. You probably felt a sense of agency, opportunity, and possibility.

When was the last time you felt that way?

As we get older and also further along in our careers it can feel like there are fewer and fewer opportunities to imagine and discover. There are a few reasons for this experience:

1. We have done more, so less is novel.

2. We can become jaded and cynical after going up against intractable systems for a long time.

3. The nature of many leadership positions is that you often spend a large part of your time fire-fighting.

When we are stretched to the limits of our capacity just to get through the day, it can feel impossible to create. We are living through a moment in time when many of us are being forced to be very reactive. We are fielding challenges on multiple fronts that all feel urgent. In this environment it can be difficult to think beyond the immediate crisis in front of us.

To be clear, this isn't an individual challenge. The systems we are living and working within are designed to promote compliance rather than creativity. When we are living with fear and anxiety and are so tired and overwhelmed that we can't quite think straight, we are less likely to be disruptive and think outside the box.

But in this moment, we need bold, creative leadership more than ever. It is extremely important that we protect time and energy to imagine, dream, create, and build.

A Call to Reflection

I invite you to think about:

• What would it look, smell, feel, and taste like to reclaim your creative leadership?

• What would be possible if instead of reacting you were imagining and building?

• How would you feel in your body?

• What do you have the power to do in your everyday life to make space for that energy?

What practices have helped you maintain your creative energy as a leader? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Citations

Tan, Cher-Yi, et al. “Being Creative Makes You Happier: The Positive Effect of Creativity on Subjective Well-Being.” Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health, vol. 18, no. 14, 2021.

Identity Consciousness in Uncertain Times

In today's rapidly changing sociopolitical landscape, many of us in the social impact sector are experiencing high levels of uncertainty and pressure. As we navigate these challenging times, I've been reflecting on how our identities and lived experiences shape our responses to crisis and uncertainty.

Identity Consciousness

Identity is always part of how we experience the world.

Identity is made up of a range of dimensions such as race, class, gender, sexual orientation, education level, disability, languages spoken and many more. We all hold multiple overlapping identities. Our identities impact our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions with others and systems. Based on the ways that we identify, we've likely had different experiences throughout our lives, and consequently bring different perspectives and skills to the table.

Navigating the Current Moment

The social impact sector is facing enormous uncertainty and pressure. Many social impact workers and leaders are worried for their organizations, clients, and their own livelihoods.

The way we are experiencing this moment likely varies based on our identities and lived experiences:

• For those with identities that have been marginalized, the current challenges may feel sadly familiar, and perhaps an extension of systemic barriers you've navigated throughout your life.

• For those with more privileged identities, this may be one of the first times systems of oppression are directly affecting your sense of security and well-being.

• Those who have navigated racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, mental and physical health challenges, and/or other struggles may have already had to develop resilience skills and tools to move through fear, anxiety, and uncertainty.

• Those experiencing this level of uncertainty for the first time might face a steep learning curve, potentially leading to high levels of dysregulation and distress.

Questions for Reflection

I invite you to consider:

1. What in your lived experience has prepared you for the current moment?

2. What skills, tools, and awareness can you draw upon from your past experiences?

3. What feelings and situations are you noticing that you don't yet have the skills, tools, and awareness to navigate effectively?

Embracing Gentleness and Solidarity

However you're experiencing the current moment, I invite you to practice gentleness with yourself and others.

We exist within systems designed to separate us from one another, but we can actively choose solidarity instead. We can bring awareness to how identity and lived experiences shape our personal and professional lives without judging one another.

We can simultaneously hold grief for the unjust reality that some people have always lived with uncertainty and fear, while recognizing that this level of uncertainty is new for others.

Moving Forward Together

The path forward involves investing in building the skills, tools, and self-awareness that foster resilience not just for ourselves individually, but for our communities and movements collectively.

By acknowledging our different lived experiences, sharing our diverse coping strategies, and holding ourselves accountable to doing our own personal work, we can build stronger networks of support and more sustainable approaches to social change work.

What resilience practices are helping you navigate uncertainty in the social impact sector right now? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Citations

Talusan, Liza A. Identity-Conscious Educator. Solution Tree Press, 2022.

Feel Like You’re Always in the Spotlight? You’re Not Alone. How to Lead Through Fear of Mistakes and Judgment

The Reality of Leadership Visibility

Leadership comes with a built-in spotlight. Your role is public and visible. Team members look to you for direction, stakeholders monitor your performance, and clients depend on you. This can be vulnerable and even scary at times.

This reality is compounded by our brains' bias towards seeing ourselves as the center of the universe, known as "The Spotlight Effect." Humans have a tendency to overestimate how much others notice, observe, and judge our actions and decisions. We experience life through our own perspective, making our failures, mistakes, and perceived shortcomings feel magnified compared to how others actually perceive them.

As a result of both real and perceived visibility, you may feel pressure to perform perfectly in every moment.

Leading through Complexity

Leading requires navigating tremendous complexity, emotions, and uncertainty. There isn't a script for leading through the current moment, so we're making it up as we go. You'll get some things right and some things wrong. There's a real vulnerability in learning in public. With so much uncertainty, others often look to you for guidance and steadfastness when you may not feel those things yourself.

Given all of this, it makes perfect sense to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and uncertain.

Signs You're Caught in the Spotlight

Many leaders experience the catch-22 of knowing it's part of your job to take risks and be bold, while feeling pressure to perform perfectly in every moment. This can result in a fight, flight, or freeze response. In response to the fear of being judged for saying or doing the wrong thing, you might find yourself:

• Overthinking every communication and decision

• Mentally rehearsing potential criticisms before making statements

• Lying awake replaying interactions for possible missteps

• Being overly affected by others' opinions

• Choosing the cautious path and avoiding risks

The reflective tendencies that were once a strength may have shifted into hyper-vigilance that consumes enormous mental bandwidth and blocks the decisive leadership your organization needs.

Building Resilience

You can't control uncertainty, but you can build resilience to respond to it effectively. Here are practical steps to become more grounded:

1. Get deeply rooted in your values People won't always agree with you, but when you're anchored in what you believe, you are more prepared to weather the storm. Get crystal clear on your values, goals, and the specific actions steps toward them.

   Build grounding practices into both your daily routine and moments of need. One strategy could be to write a touchstone statement and place it on your desk as a daily reminder. Another strategy is to create a visualization such as a tree with roots extending deep into the earth that you can call up when you feel overwhelmed.

2. Be selective about feedback Be thoughtful about whose opinions and reactions you let in. In her book Setting Boundaries that Stick, Juliane Taylor Shore offers a powerful framework for setting psychological boundaries by asking: "Is this true? Is this about me?" There's so much noise in the world, and you get to decide what's constructive and relevant. These questions create a buffer, giving you space to intentionally decide what information deserves your attention.

3. Embrace being a learner, not a knower Reject the idea that you must get everything right. This falsehood traps many perfectionists. In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown distinguishes between being a "knower" versus a "learner." Needing to always be right can be defensive and unproductive. Accepting that we are all learners, approaching situations with curiosity, and being gentle with ourselves and others creates space for growth and compassionate leadership.

4. Collect evidence of success Humans have a strong negativity bias. We notice failures more readily than successes. Counter this tendency by intentionally gathering evidence of your wins, both big and small. Return to these pieces of evidence regularly, especially during moments of self-doubt.

5. Regulate your nervous system When stressed, cortisol floods your body. This works well for short bursts but becomes harmful long-term. Chronic stress can become so routine that you may not even realize you're constantly operating in fight, flight, or freeze mode. Building intentional regulation practices is critical for staying calm, strategic, and healthy.

   Try simple practices like standing barefoot in grass, breathing deeply, taking a mindful walk, or holding a warm beverage while fully attending to the sensations of the cup in your hand. Tell yourself "I am safe" and "I am capable" as you allow your heart rate and breathing to slow. This isn't frivolous, it's essential.

Leading Forward

It's perfectly natural to feel pressure when in a visible role with others depending on you. Building your capacity to discern between real needs and over-amplified scrutiny will help keep your energy, focus, and impact on what truly matters. By implementing these practices consistently, you can lead with greater clarity, confidence, and effectiveness even amid uncertainty.

Citations

Brown, C. Brené. Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Whole Hearts, Tough Conversations. Random House, 2018.

Cuncic, Arlin. “Spotlight Effect: Not Everyone Is Looking at You.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 28 Aug. 2023, www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-spotlight-effect-3024470.

Shore, Juliane Taylor. Setting Boundaries That Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe,... Connected, and Empowered. New Harbinger Publications, 2023.

Are we Addicted to Urgency? What to do when Everything Feels Like an Emergency.

Everyday feels like an emergency. There is always too much to do and you have been in a dead sprint for longer than you can remember. You keep telling yourself that if you can just make it over the next hill you’ll get a breather, but the break never seems to come.

If this sounds familiar, you and/or your organization may have an urgency addiction.

A past therapist told me that when we grow up in contexts that are unpredictable this becomes our sense of normal, and then as adults we seek out those types of environments because they are familiar. When this happens, our very sense of what is normal, comfortable, and acceptable is defined by volatility. This rings true to me personally, and I see this pattern reflected in the social sector.

In social change organizations we are often working to change extremely harmful systems and address real human needs. This is important work. And we have a pattern in our organizations and movements of normalizing overwork, stress, and a crisis mentality in our day to day operations such that it has become both expected and a badge of honor.

Tema Okun describes “our cultural habit of applying a sense of urgency to our every-day lives in ways that perpetuate power imbalance while disconnecting us from our need to breathe and pause and reflect”. A constant sense of urgency makes it hard to tell the difference between what is really urgent and what feels urgent, which leads to burnout and exhaustion.

As leaders we may feel that unless we are working at the very limit of our capacity (if not beyond it) we are not doing enough. This stems in part from unrealistic expectations we have of ourselves, and from expectations that come from funders who expect organizations to do too much with too little.

Normalizing this level of persistent urgency requires us to disconnect from our body and our spirit. We stop listening to our bodies’ cues: ignoring hunger and working through illness. We don’t attend to our spirits’ exhaustion: becoming disengaged in our family and friendship, snapping at our children and partners, and de-prioritizing leisure activities that bring us joy. We hurt ourselves and each other for the sake of “the cause.”

Ironically, moving at the level of urgency that many of us have become accustomed to doesn't forward our mission, it actually harms it. When we are struggling to keep our heads above water we exclude others, don’t seek full information, see decisions as all or nothing, and struggle to think creatively – all in the name of expediency.

We are in a moment where there is real crisis and urgency and if we cannot tell what is actually urgent because we are so used to treating everything as urgent we will not be able to direct our energy effectively. We get to allocate our greatest resource, our energy, strategically and intentionally.

In her book Emergent Strategy, adrienne maree browne describes the concept of fractals saying, “how we are at the small scale is how we are at the large scale.” When we inculcate calm and groundedness within ourselves we then ripple that out to our teams, our organizations, our movements, and the world. To do this requires us to step out of the unrelenting pace demanded by our capitalist society, to acknowledge that we are not cogs in a machine that can be driven to exhaustion and beyond, and to reconnect to our bodies and spirits.

I invite you to slow down. If you notice that slowing down is uncomfortable for you and brings up feelings of inadequacy, stress, or fear you may have forgotten what having a regulated nervous system feels like. You may be so used to urgency, crisis-mode, and volatility that it has become your normal. It will likely take some practice to rewire your brain and body to move at a more intentional, and less reactive pace.

To be very clear, slowing down does not mean that you care less, are less committed, or are weak. These are common stories that we tell ourselves to keep ourselves going at an unrealistic pace.

We get to shift our thinking to understand that part of leading is building discernment to tell what is truly urgent, rather than operating from a place of urgency as the default.

Reclaiming your calm is in service of building a just world.

The Alarming Statistics: Why One Third of Nonprofit Leaders Are Concerned about their own Burnout

A recent study shows that a third of nonprofit leaders are deeply concerned about their own burnout, and half of them are more concerned about their burnout now than last year.

Why is this the case?

To understand why there is widespread burnout in nonprofit organizations we need to understand some of the systemic elements at play.

1. The United States has over 1.8 million registered nonprofit organizations. These organizations serve a critical role in our society. As we have removed social services from the public sector, nonprofits have taken on the role of providing needed community supports. And needs have increased over time, putting more and more pressure on these organizations.

2. Almost 3/4 of nonprofit workers identify as women. Women are often socialized to be nice, to put others’ needs ahead of their own, and to swallow their own discomfort. Because of this, and the deep commitment many nonprofit leaders have to their organizations, teams, and mission, many leaders take on unrealistic expectations, burn the candle at both ends, and struggle to say no or hold boundaries.

3. The United States is overall an individualistic culture, where independence and self-reliance is highly valued. Nonprofit leaders are required to pivot from one thing to another, hold expertise in a wide range of areas, and are often the only or one of the only leaders in their organization. Since many nonprofit leaders (just like all people) have internalized individualistic ideas, they believe that they “should” be able to handle all of this. This leads to high levels of pressure, perfectionism, and isolation.

When you combine all three of these forces it is a perfect storm for burnout.

With the nonprofit sector being directly attacked by the current administration, government services being cut, and tens of thousands of fired federal workers potentially needing additional services to support their families, the pressure on nonprofit leaders is immense. And there is no playbook for this, just as there wasn’t for the crises that came before. This uncertainty adds to the overwhelm many leaders are already experiencing.

Why does it matter?

Burnout has a tremendous individual impact. It impacts people’s professional effectiveness, family and social lives, and mental and physical health. And for most nonprofit leaders their work is more than just a job – their identity, self-concept, and values are intertwined in their work. This makes it even more difficult to allow any balls to drop.

Addressing burnout is also about ensuring that your organization thrives. When we operate from a place of overwhelm, anxiety, and exhaustion, we tend to be less intentional, less creative, and less innovative. Furthermore, when leaders burn out and leave, organizations lose important institutional knowledge, and future generations lose potential mentors.

So what can you do about all of this?

Addressing persistent burnout requires that we shift our way of thinking. This is not a short sprint that we just have to get through. This is a systemic trap that we are writhing inside like a fly in a spider's web, getting more and more tangled.

Letting go of the idea that we can “power through" and then sitting with the loss of control, anger, and grief that this is the system we are all inside of is an unavoidable step.

And then we can refocus on setting realistic goals to make a powerful difference, working more interdependently, and holding boundaries to care for ourselves and each other.

Citations

Center for Effective Philanthropy. State of Nonprofits 2024. Center for Effective Philanthropy, 2024, https://cep.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/NVP_State-of-Nonprofits_2024.pdf.

Cherry, Kendra. "What Are Individualistic Cultures?" Verywell Mind, 11 Feb. 2025, https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-individualistic-cultures-2795273#:~:text=In%20this%20type%20of%20culture,Europe%20tend%20to%20be%20individualistic.

Clerkin, Cathleen. "More Women Work in Nonprofits—So Why Do Men End Up Leading Them?" Harvard Business Review, 26 Apr. 2024, https://hbr.org/2024/04/more-women-work-in-nonprofits-so-why-do-men-end-up-leading-them.

Fass, Amy. "What the World Gets Wrong About Nonprofits." Stanford Social Innovation Review, 2024, https://ssir.org/books/excerpts/entry/what_the_world_gets_wrong_about_nonprofits#.

Wiki Charities. "How Many Nonprofits Are in the World?" Wiki Charities, 2024, https://www.wikicharities.org/how-many-nonprofits-in-the-world#:~:text=United%20States%20=%201.8%20million%20registered,Israel%20=%2037%2C000.