Under the Magnifying Glass: Navigating Public Leadership
Leadership Is Exposing!
When you are in a leadership role it can feel like everyone is looking at you, judging you, and waiting for you to either save the day or mess up. This is even more true when things are precarious like when funding is tight, you're in the midst of a big campaign, or you take a stance that you know won't please everyone.
For social impact leaders this exposure is laced with a particular tension because your work is a reflection of who you are and what you believe most deeply, so the threat of “getting it wrong” is intense. It is really hard when you are used to being one of the team or part of the movement, and now you’re the one everyone is looking to. The buck stops with you, and the people you are most aligned with are the ones watching and assessing you most closely.
And all of this is happening in public. Even as you feel unsure and afraid you have to act like you’ve got it all together. It's no wonder it feels exhausting, dangerous, and overwhelming. All your alarm systems are going off at once, trying to protect you from the external danger of judgment and ostracization and the internal danger of disappointing yourself.
When I was in this place I described it as having my skin peeled off over the course of each day, going to bed exposed and raw, and then waking up the next day to do it all over again. That's how intense it feels to be in the public eye, being scrutinized, with your sense of self put under a magnifying glass by some of the people whose opinions matter the most to you.
Your Job Is A Role, Not Your Entirety
So what do you do about this? I don't have a magic pill that will make your skin thicker or make you care less, and honestly you don't want that anyway. Your empathy, your compassion, and your deep caring isn't a problem, it's part of your superpower.
The thing that can be really hard to internalize when you're a high achieving, compassionate, and kind of anxious person who really cares about “getting it right” is that no matter how much you care, how connected you are to your community, or how aligned your job is with your values, it is still your ROLE and not your entirety. The criticism you receive in a leadership role can feel like it's about you as a person, but often it is about the role you're in and the tough decisions that entails. It's a hard but expected part of the job.
That sick feeling like you're walking a tightrope and might fall at any moment is very unpleasant, but it's also normal and expected as you adjust to the realities of public leadership. That you feel bad is not a referendum on you as a person and it doesn't mean you’re not good enough or getting it wrong. The more you experience it the more you'll come to recognize it, understand it, and know how to navigate it. It's just new right now. When you can start to distinguish between your role and your sense of self, even a little, the pain gets a little less personal and a little more manageable and it doesn't cloud your judgment as much.
You Can Learn To Ease The Sting
You don't have to react to everything and you don't have to please everyone. You get to build discernment about what feedback to take on board and what to let slide off your back. You get to figure out what your leadership actually looks like. It doesn't have to look like anyone else's and it doesn't have to be static. You can (and should!) learn, grow, and change over time.
You are not defined by your lowest moments. You are doing your best and staying engaged, and that is messy and also amazing.
Believe me, I know it's easier said than done. If you want to keep showing up, keep caring, keep living your values out loud, and stop feeling so exposed while you do it, let's talk. I've walked this path, I've helped other leaders walk it too, and I can help you navigate it as well.
Send me a message and let’s talk.