Do You Belong Here? Yes!
Do you ever feel like you don't deserve to be where you are? Do you look around the room and think, I don't belong here?
Thoughts and feelings like these are so common for my clients. Especially when you have started your own organization, are job searching, are new to management, are appealing to big donors and making things that feel precarious look good, or running for office without a typical political background, it's easy to feel like you're not good enough or that you're in over your head.
We often refer to this as imposter syndrome. But this term is tricky and not my favorite. Ruchika Malhotra and Jodi-Ann Burey argued in their seminal article that for many women feeling like you don't belong isn't a distortion, but rather a rational response to systems and structures that were never built for you.
And there is a specific flavor of this for those of us who haven't had straightforward or traditional careers or leadership journeys. I know this well. I started my career as a preschool teacher, then studied public policy, then was a public school administrator, then a community organizer, then co-founded a consulting company, then ran for office, and now I'm a professional coach to social impact leaders. I have never once been promoted up the chain. I have so many skills and experiences but they don't fit into a neat package. A lot of my clients are the same.
When you don't have a boss saying "you're doing a good job and you're ready for a promotion," you have to rely on your own self-confidence, self-belief, and sense of worth. That is hard, especially when things get rocky. You can learn to intentionally buoy and sustain yourself as you keep putting yourself out there. It requires building a serious discipline, but it is learnable.
This is where building your own leadership credibility comes in.
You may not have had a traditional stepwise path, but there are real benefits to that. You have a specific set of skills from your winding path that someone with a traditional career will never have. Figure out what they are, celebrate them, and remind yourself of them all the time. Don't try to be someone you're not. If you're honest about what you bring and what you don't, keep learning, and own your journey, you'll feel much more alignment than if you cosplay a version of leadership that doesn't fit quite right.
For a long time I literally kept a piece of paper next to my computer that said "I know how to..." and listed everything I was skilled at in different colors. When that self doubt and self questioning shows up, talk back to it firmly. Of course, there are things you don't know or haven't done yet. That's true for everyone. But there are many more that you have. Lean on those and surround yourself with a team that can fill in the gaps.
Your leadership doesn't have to look like anyone else's. It is totally yours.
Want to figure out what your version of this looks like? Let's talk.
References
Malhotra, Ruchika T., and Jodi-Ann Burey. “Stop Telling Women They Have Impostor Syndrome.” Harvard Business Review, February 11, 2021. https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-impostor-syndrome.