A Message for Leaders Doing Real Work in Hard Times

There is external pressure. The deadline, the budget, the endorsement, the endless fundraising, authoritarianism. These things are real and hard and relentless.

And there is internal pressure. The voice that says "I should be able to handle this," "why did I leave it to the last minute again," "I'm a failure and I'm going to keep failing."

The shame we heap on ourselves saps our energy, stifles our creativity, and stops us from being the courageous bold leaders we imagine ourselves to be.

I coach a wide range of values-driven leaders – nonprofit executives, candidates, elected officials, organizers, movement leaders. On every end of that spectrum, people feel afraid, insecure, and like they are not enough. Leaders who look like they are confident and have it all together on the outside feel like they are falling apart and letting everyone down inside.

What would it look and feel like if you felt the confidence you performed in public? What would you have capacity for if you weren’t beating yourself up or comparing yourself to others who seem more successful than you?

The gap between who you perform in public and how you feel tossing and turning at 3am is real, and maintaining it is exhausting.

When you stepped out front into leadership, something shifted. Before, your power came from being one of many. Now your face is on the flyer, you're the one on the stage, and you're the one who has to have an answer. The hopes of the whole community feel like they rest on your shoulders. That is a different kind of weight. And the higher the stakes, the louder that voice in your head gets.

Your inner critic is wearing you down. That’s not accountability or high standards, it's just a very old practiced story about everywhere you fall short.

You have skills, wisdom, and a track record of success. You wouldn't be here if you didn't know how to get things done.

So stop performing someone else's leadership. Your style doesn't have to look like your mentor's, your hero's, or whoever seems to have it figured out on social media. It has to work for you. That doesn't mean you'll love every task or never struggle. It means you stop spending your most precious resources fighting yourself.

Working with yourself instead of against yourself is a learnable skill. And one we can work on together.

If you're ready to figure out what your leadership actually looks like – brave, grounded, and sustainable – let's talk.